Wednesday, July 11, 2018

These Craigslist Ads Are Really Out There

Now that the U.S. government has shut down Craigslist personal ads, we won't be seeing the ads that are not only disgusting, but hilarious. As a photographer, over the years I've put lots of ads on Craigslist seeking models to help promote the items I sell. So over the years I noticed some sexual related ads by guys in the casual encounters and talent sections, and when I started looking at more of them, some stood out as pretty off the wall. However, after laughing my butt off at many of these ads, I decided to share them on this blog. Say and think what you will, the appetite this group of men have may be pretty hair raising for many, but they're hilarious. So I hope you find them entertaining. Enjoy.

1- I have a smell/taste fetish and I am willing to PAY for the pleasure. Crotch, ass, and feet. As long as it's NOT freshly showered, I'm in! (Florida)

2- Looking for an open-minded female who would be open to simply standing on me and dancing on me like your stage? (Florida)

3- Want to make a little money doing something a little kinky? Sell me your old worn out panties that you have just worn and has a STRONG scent of you in them. Interested? Picture G rated. Age. Height and weight. General location. (Florida)

4- You force me to my knees while you stand. You pull down your dirty panties and FORCE my face into the crotch and make me smell them. Then you slap the living hell out of me and take your panties off and force my face to the ground with your feet and force me to keep smelling your panties as you kick the living hell out of me all over my body. (Florida)

5- If you're a fit guy between 18-30 and would enjoy blowing up and popping balloons, please contact me with some recent pictures and any questions you have. For pay. (Georgia)

6- I just want to watch you pleasure yourself in your car. I will not touch i will not talk. I'll simply watch you touch tease and please yourself. Fake it even if it thats what you want. Just looking for 15 mins of excitement right now! (Georgia)

7- Trying to come up with the best word to describe my penis. On Dec 19th, Thursday, starting at eight am I want people to TEXT me at 2054132523 and submit their best idea. (Georgia)

8- I'm looking for a woman who is willing to bust my balls for a half hour or so. It's pretty easy work and therefore easy money. No nudity. Nothing more, nothing less than ballbusting. We can exchange pics if you're interested. $40 compensation for 30 minutes of foot worship. Allow this guy to give you the pleasure of foot worship. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy. The bigger and smellier your feet are, the better! Cash paid upfront. Safe environment. References available. Looking for girls age 18-25 that have slender physiques. Thanks. (Alabama)

9- Looking for a female midget pole dancer this is for two nights on March 21st and 22nd. Personal security will be provided but you must provide your own costumes. (Alabama)

10- Looking for female models for breast photos. No experience necessary. Shots will include a variety of bras as well as possibly bare. You will take the pictures yourself and send them to me. You will then be paid via paypal. Looking for 50 pictures for $50 (Arkansas)

11- Need girl to spank me (California)

12- Need girl to watch me perform (California)

13- Just be comfortable with your feet touched and toes sucked on. Nothing sexual involved. I prefer someone who has some understanding of foot fetish, and knows what feet pheromones means (California)

14- Seeking female who likes to get tied up and tickled. Some teasing and domination (California)

14- I want a girl to slap around and sexually dominate for the might. Must reply with pic and # plus state your fee (California)

15- We are now casting orally talented females for adult video work. First timers are always welcome, relaxed workplace and great same day pay (California)

16- I am an amateur photographer looking to shoot a model with long inner labia lips (Oregon)

17- I'm seeking a Goddess (not skinny) who is either on the dominant side, or extremely kinky and adventurous to help me with a fetish. I'm extremely turned on by a woman coming over and using my toilet without flushing, and leaving it for me. Even better if You want me to empty the bowl in front of you for your satisfaction. I am generous, follow instructions without talking, and I'm hoping for at least 2-3 (15 min.) visits weekly. 100 each. (New York)

18- WM submissive who craves the brown gift of an Ebony Woman. i am ready to pay 'tribute$' for this privilege. Please come over and leave me Your gift in the toilet...(stay and watch/make me bob?) (New York)

19- Need young of age girls to keep respectable guys company at their homes. Must look good, have bubbly personality and open mind for adult situations. d/d free and if tattooed, tasteful. Hot photos for selection. Please no chocolate please. (Miami)

20- I need a female who is willing to receive a rimjob. This is a paid gig and only requires 15 minutes or so of your time. Reply with a pic and location to be considered. (New Jersey)

21- Well, this may sound odd, but I am willing to be generous if I can smell your butt for a little while. LOL. Its just something that really turns me on. If you can do this please reply with a pic and location. Thanks. (New Jersey)

22- I'll keep it simple. I feel like sucking some toes and I'll pay to do it. Get back to me if you're interested. (New Jersey)

23- I need someone to eat a Big Mac for me. You will buy it and bring it to my house. I will pay $20 plus the price of the sandwich (bring a receipt). We are not responsible for ANY bodily harm that comes as a result of this feat. (Washington State)

24- Simply put I'm looking for fluffers to fluff during a gangbang movie on the 29th of this month in federal way. I own my own company and manage 3 female adult entertainers. No I'm not looking for guys I have taken care of that already. So ladies please send your name/number/measurements and pic. Nude pics aren't necessary but please show your figure and be attractive. Compensation is $250 for two hours. There will be 10-12 guys. (Washington State)

25- A sexy woman is needed for gloryhole. $500. 18+. Include pics and number. (Florida)

26- I am looking for women, who would like to use a strap-on, on a man, contact me if interested. (Pennsylvania)

27- I'm seeking a male or female to give me a spanking to keep me on the right track in life, all are welcome,this is much appreciated! (Pennsylvania)

28- I am seeking a caring open minded woman that is able to help me explore the escape and experience of exploring my feminine side through dress, makeup and transformation. (Pennsylvania)

29- I'm seeking someone who can get their ass paddled, safe discreet gig, message me a pic if interested (Pennsylvania)

30- Looking for a mature but free-spirited female for photo project/posing session. Seeking open-minded individual with a bit of an assertive streak in her soul. Photo appreciated.. Please include age. Knot-tying ability a plus. (Pennsylvania)

31- I am interested in filming girls attempting to escape from a straightjacket. Size small Posey SJ (self bondage) will be used, and all films are intended for private collection. No nudity is required. Please email me with questions, availability, and headshot. Thanks for reading! (Pennsylvania)

32- Paying pretty girls between 18-27 years old and with strong legs $160 an hour to apply scissorholds, legchokes, and other holds to weaker guys for online video site. (Florida)

33- I'm a 27 yr old professional here on business. I'm looking for a female to host then let me take off her heels and kiss her stockings. THAT'S IT !!!! (Florida)

34- I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over west Ocala, near the airport, for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1- Lure said dragon away from Ocala to a more rural area. 2- Force said dragon to land in a rural area. 3- Slay said dragon in whatever way you see fit. No pay, dragon slaying is its own reward, and you get exclusive access to the dragon's hoard of gold. Please note that I am NOT talking about the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an arrangement. (Florida)

35- I am looking for someone who enjoy turning a straight masculine man into a pretty girl. Dressing him up etc and it can be a long term. Please no men and you must send pics/contact info...I will provide the strap. Must be ok with sex (Florida) 36-If you have pretty feet and a spare 15-20mins I would like to pay you $50 cash upfront to worship them. nsa no sex/nudity real easy money if you ask me please send pics Thanks. (Florida)

37- Attractive with safe/discrete location in west broward. would love to have you come over and masturbate while i take care of myself. light touching allowed (ass grabbing,etc). please email availability, photos and donation - ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ONLY - RACE DOES NOT MATTER. (Florida)

38- Looking to hire a good looking guy to model his nicely socked feet for me. I will pay $50/hour and require the socks to be ripe and sweaty. Guys need to be at least 5'9", in-shape, masculine and likes to get their socks/feet worshipped. White or Latino preferred. Doesn't have to be sexual, but need to be okay with another dude smelling your socks. Price can be negotiable if you've got other ideas/suggestions. Send a face, stats and a socked foot pic to be considered. (California)

39- Ok, this is going to sound a little strange but it is a real ad and I'm serious about it, I'm looking to perform analingus on a woman. I'm addicted to analingus, I really love it, I'm married but my wife doesn't like that and wont let me do it to her. I'm looking for a woman who would love to have her behind serviced orally. That's all I'm looking for, no sex, no reciprocation. I just need to lick some ass or I'll go insane. Interested? Reply with your location in subject line to weed out spam. More ads to come as I locate them. (Los Angeles)

40- I have a rare condition. It is a bit embarrassing, but I can only seem to orgasm around freckles. Too make it worse, it had to be directly in the freckles. Other than that, I am a normal San Francisco type. Do you have freckles? (San Francisco)

41- I need a naughty girl for kitty milk scenario involving, costume, cat role-play, meowing, purring, licking, and of course lots of milk everywhere! Lick it up, spit it out, rub it all over. Put it deep inside you and squirt it all over. (San Francisco)

42- Looking for a kinky girl to come fart for me. Be young, cute, and kinky. Must be totally clean, std/hiv negative and good hygiene. I'm a straight white male. Good looking and clean. std/hiv negative. Totally mellow, nice guy with a kinky side. I can host in SF. Please send your stats, and pics. Pic for pic. NO PIC NO REPLY. (San Francisco)

43- Mature red head here. 59 yrs to be exact!! In San Jose and willing to travel a bit for daytime play. Morning is best for me sweetie!!! .. Ask me for a video of just how I wish to ""PLEASURE"" your TITS. Not interested in slapping your face,, Altho I'd be glad to COCK SLAP it!!!! Feel free to gobble my meat if you wish.. No sex as it were!! Other brands of play offered as well. What about that ASS?????? Read on if you would like to surrender that ASS to me as well. (San Francisco)

44- I have a pregnant-lactating fetish and looking for a pregnant or woman that is lactating over 25 any race for some fun. Send your details and pic if you wish and we can take it from there. Or if you are lactating that's a great turn on too. Thanks.

45- Any ladies interested in teasing me with their sweet butt. Just luv kissing cheeks all over, then in between them. Lots of tongue back there if you like! Then you can have me craving to lick that clitty like a champ. Not selfish, all about you is fine with me. I wish I were a submissive oral slave, that is what I truly want to be!

46- I'm 39 ddf and clean. I'm in search of a woman to have some NSA fun. I have always wanted to act out a fantasy of daddy-daughter or mom/ son. Any ideas are welcomed. Please be real and serious. No BS. Email me for more info

47- I am looking for an older lady in her 60's,70's or 80's to watch me jerk off, and /or play with her tits.

48- Looking for white female in her 20's or early 30's who has strong oral skills. I want you to suck my cum out like it was a thick milkshake. I'm not looking for anything besides this. I'm not far from the airport and have a nice, quiet safe condo. Please send a pic and when you are hungry.

49- I'm looking for a woman with a nice hairy bush for oral sex, face-sitting and giving golden showers. Over 30 a plus. Send me a picture and tell me what you like and let's get wet together.

50- Hi, We're a male and female FWB couple looking for a third person, a cute young woman, for a gig. The idea is that the male (myself who is posting this ad) will cum on the faces of both women and they'll kiss and swap it, and then have me swap it also. I'm 34, white, fit, healthy, 5'7", brown hair. She is 23, 5'3", thin with C cup natural breasts, and light brown hair with a blonde streak in it and a few tattoos on her arms. We'd meet first and then I'd host. Serious, open-minded non-professional people only please! Looking for a student or tourist/person who is in town just a short while. Thanks! (Philadelphia)

51- I have explored most aspects of BDSM, pain, humiliation, submission and power exchange with women but have not yet found a girl who truly gets off on this. Many girls contact me for rough sex, experiencing restraints, exploring fetishes and all of this is good and hot and things that I love exploring. But. Right now I am only looking for women for whom pussy punishment equals pleasure. Hot wax dripped on your thighs and lips. Clamps on your lips, weights added, dancing to follow. Slapping with an open hand, flogger, paddle, ruler. Stretching with an inflatable dildo, bottle, fist. Brushing with a stiff bristled brush, toothbrush, toothpaste. Not all of this is required. I am sane but masochistic. This is about suffering for me, but also for your pleasure. Your orgasm is as important as mine, except yours only comes after you hurt for it. Get in touch if you are wet or curious. (New York City)

I will be adding to this blog as I find new ads so please check back often. Thanks for seeing.

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